Must Read Memoirs
Living vicariously through others' stories
Good Husbandry: Growing Food, Love, and Family on Essex Farm by Kristin Kimball (2019) - If you’re in the (farmer’s) market for a mid-winter read that inspires you to start thinking about the greener days ahead and picking up your farm share come summer, then this is the book for you. Kristin Kimball’s second memoir (which is as good if not even better than her first The Dirty Life - see a Book Jam review here from the days when we had a podcast) is a compulsively readable and an incredibly beautifully written account of her time growing a marriage, a family, and a CSA farm that feeds 250 people in New York State. When we initially met the author in 2011 with the publication of her first book, Kimball, then a city dweller and travel writer in her thirties, had unexpectedly embraced the rural life after meeting and falling in love with both farming and with Mark. Now almost a decade has passed and both she and the story have matured. She doesn’t shy away from sharing the challenges faced raising two young girls while trying to manage the increasing debt and the risky odds that come with farming. Nor does she ignore the building tension in her marriage as she and her husband adjust to parenthood and the never ending work of a diversified farm that leaves little time for their relationship. Instead, Kimball thoroughly explores these difficult topics with grace and wisdom, growing a story -and a life - full of awareness and insight. At certain points, Kimball’s prose and perspective on the natural world reminded me of the poetry of Mary Oliver. Her stewardship and environmental ethic called to mind Rachel Carson or Terry Tempest Williams. And at others, her food sense and the descriptions of heavenly meals around her farm table made me think of a rustic Ruth Reichl. But she is a brilliant voice in her own right. Don’t miss this book. Read it and Eat (local). ~Lisa Cadow An Odyssey by Daniel Mendelsohn (2017). This was a New York Times/PBS NewsHour Book Club Pick, but we did not know that when we picked it for this post. I loved it for its look at Homer's Odyssey and for its exploration of the relationship between a father and son when the father decides to take his son's undergraduate Odyssey seminar at Bard College. ~ Lisa Cadow Black is the Body by Emily Bernard (2019) - A collection of essays discussing being Black in the predominantly white spaces of Vermont. Insightful, vulnerable, and helpful. Ms. Bernard is a professor of English at the University of Vermont who was born and raised in Nashville, Tennessee. It is our belief our home state benefits greatly from her presence here. ~ Lisa Christie Manhood for Amateurs: The pleasures, regrets of a husband, father and son by Michael Chabon (2009) - This collection is older but we have a hard time thinking of a better look at life as a father/man in America. As IndieNext said in their review, "The subjects are varied, but the writing is consistently sharp, poignant, humorous, and a pure joy to read.” And, it's a perfect gift for any dad. ~ Lisa Cadow and Lisa Christie Motherhood by Shelia Heti (2019 paperback)- Canadian author Sheila Heti is all at once a philosopher, a poet, a radical self-inquisitor, and a cultural explorer. Her introspective writing style pulls readers into her active mind, taking them on an intellectual and emotional journey to deeply examine every facet of an issue alongside her, which in this case is the loaded subject of motherhood. To be or not to be? The nameless narrator in this, her second autobiographical novel, is a woman in her late 30's. She has found a supportive mate named Miles and we meet her as she is struggling to decide whether being a mother is right for her. Reading this book is like being on a reproductive roller coaster ride strapped into the unsteady seat next to Heti: her momentary leanings, ambivalence, and vertigo induced by the idea of parenting shifting from one page to the next. Reading this, I felt torn and simultaneously exposed, pushed to re-examine with a fresh lens my own (good for me) choice to have children (twenty plus years ago), my own ongoing confusion about this role and society's expectations, my complacency being on the other side of this decision making, and my assumptions about the younger women around me. To say that Heti is a talented writer would be like saying like Georgia O'Keeffe was a talented artist. There is a quality to her genius that allows her, like O'Keeffe, to gracefully explore internal as well as external landscapes, raw femininity, gender, power, and the many colors of emotion. The question Heti poses in this work is not new, and is, in fact, more important than her ultimate answer to it, which consistently eludes her. As she reflects, "Whether I want kids is a secret I keep from myself - it is the greatest secret I keep from myself." This book is recommended for all of us surrounded by people making reproductive decisions, for those pondering the magnitude of motherhood, or simply for those with mothers and sisters on Mother's Day- and on every day of the year. A New York Times Notable Book of 2018. ~Lisa Cadow Southern Lady Code by Helen Ellis (2019) - As a woman raised in the South (Tennessee) who has now lived in New England for almost 24 years, this memoir of an Alabama belle placed/misplaced? in New York City for many years, leapt out at me from The Norwich Bookstore's shelves. The need to read it was enhanced by a glowing review from our favorite children's librarian, Ms. Beth. (Ms. Minshall - your title is coordinator so we feel OK calling Ms. Beth our favorite children's librarian.) Anyway, back to our review. Ms. Ellis insights into life as a New Yorker, wife, writer, and well, person will have you smiling throughout each of the compact essays contained in this book. You will gain insight into how to say something not-so-nice in a nice way when you can't think of anything nice to say. You will learn the art of a proper thank you note. You will receive festive hosting tips. While I did not bend over laughing as some other reviews of this book promised, my theory is that my status as a misplaced southerner myself means many of Ms. Ellis's predicaments lacked the element of surprise laughing-out-loud sometimes requires. Besides, my more subdued reaction to these essays in no way diminishes the fun readers will have with this book. It feels as if very few things of late are truly meant to just be enjoyed; I claim this book is one of them. As an NPR review stated "Ellis is fun - like the Nutter Butter snowmen she serves at her retro holiday parties". So, gift this collection to your favorite moms and then "sit a spell" with it yourself. ~ Lisa Christie Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb (2019) -- I loved every page of this expansive memoir of the author's life as a therapist and as someone in therapy. Ms. Gottlieb's honesty about her own mental health needs -- begun by a strong need for help recovering from the unexpected ending of her engagement, but definitely not ending there - intertwined with tales of her clients really allows you to look at your own mental health and what can be done to help (even if you are fine, or think you are fine). ~ Lisa Christie and strongly seconded by Lisa Cadow who adds: As someone headed back to school in the fall to pursue a masters in counseling, I found this book to be a jump start into better understanding the therapeutic process. Gottlieb is whipper-snapper smart, funny, and a great story-teller. Lucky for us, she is also an excellent educator and she uses this book as a way to explain techniques, theory, and the history of psychology. Not surprisingly, given her choice of career path, she has fantastic insight into the human condition. You will wish you could find a therapist like her. Educated by Tara Westover (2018). Educated, is one of the most affecting – if not the most affecting – memoirs of 2018 . In many ways this story is about author Tara Westover’s educational journey from her family’s rural homestead in Idaho where she received no formal tutelage, worked in the junkyard on their property, while only barely passing the GRE to matriculate to Brigham and Young. It concludes when she earns her PhD from Cambridge University in England. It is an astounding and moving narrative which often leaves the reader shaking her head in bewilderment. But when the last page is turned, this book is even more importantly about something that lies beyond formal learning and the ivory tower. It is about standing up for one’s self, making sense of reality, and finally harnessing the strength to say “This is my truth.”Many readers have observed that this book reminds them of Glass Castle, Jeanette Walls‘ affecting and best-selling memoir. This makes sense as they are both books about surviving and succeeding professionally unusual childhoods. And yet Westover’s experience deserves to stand alone. It’s that good. It offers a window into the Mormon experience, life in the West, and also addresses the the difficult subject of domestic abuse. Highly recommended and an excellent choice for book groups. ~Lisa Cadow Becoming by Michelle Obama (2018). Rarely does a book live up to its hype, but somehow, Mrs. Obama’s book does. Her reflections on her childhood, her own children, her career to date, and, of course, her interactions with her husband and other political leaders allow us all to learn something useful for our own lives. To top that off, she writes well. Her tale is unique. She has a great sense of humor and the right amount of gravitas. If you have not yet read this, we recommend you do so you can start 2019 off with a great book. BONUS: We have heard this makes an amazing audio book experience as well. ~ Lisa Christie Dear America: Notes of an undocumented citizen by Jose Antonio Vargas (2018) — This book offers a poignant, plainly spoken, well-crafted, and intimate look at life as an undocumented worker in the USA. Mr. Vargas is possibly the most famous undocumented citizen in the USA and uses his Pulitzer Prize winning writing abilities to create an insightful and searing look at what being undocumented actually means. What emerges is a portrait of many things I assumed would be part of an undocumented worker’s life – hard work, fear, contributing to one’s community, and hardships associated with maintaining basic dignity. What I had not previously considered is how extraordinarily difficult it is to live a life with a lie at its core. What is the education connection? Well, despite Mr. Vargas’s contention this book is about homelessness, I would argue that the book repeatedly demonstrates the importance of great schools, amazing teachers, good books, and mentors. Basically, this book illustrates what education can open for so many. And, as with the other two picks in this post, this memoir is highly recommended (and timely based on recent news) for Book Clubs. ~ Lisa Christie Calypso by David Sedaris (2018) – Mr. Sedaris’s latest collection of essays tackles the “not-so-joyful” aspects of reaching middle age. Perhaps because of this, this collection is not as laugh-out-loud funny as his previous collections. That said, it is impossible for me to read Mr. Sedaris’s work without hearing his distinctive voice in my head, making his wry insights even funnier than they initially appear. And honestly, his perceptive commentary about life’s mundane and heartbreaking moments is superb no matter the level of humor. I will frame his paragraph in “Leviathan” beginning “It’s ridiculous how often you have to say hello on Emerald Island” for its treatise on the fact Southerners insist on saying hello. I will then present it to my children as a constant explanation for why I say hello to complete strangers; they may never understand this trait, but they will forever have documentation of its source – my childhood in Tennessee. Pick this up and enjoy! (We suppose we should have put this in the inspired by Ancient Greeks category.) ~ Lisa Christie Amateur Hour: Motherhood in Essays and Swear Words by Kimberly Harrington (2018) – This collection of essays features a distinctive voice (one that is often seen in The New Yorker, and McSweeney’s) that applies humor, tears, cursing, love, and unique insight to almost every aspect of motherhood/life: a failed pregnancy, relocating across the country, a request to end “mommy wars” steeped with insight from both sides, grandparents/Florida, to do lists, meal-train etiquette, participation trophies, parenting experts, plane rides with kids, and partners. You will grin throughout this collection, as each essay is graced with humor and humility. You will tear-up a bit reading many of the essays as some are poignant and unsparing (e.g., a retelling of a failed pregnancy, and/or a story of a fight over divorcing – they didn’t – that uses FB “likes” to score points). Quick note: we found this book because one of its chapters was a recent Op-Ed in The New York Times. (Previously reviewed in mother’s day picks.) ~ Lisa Christie Born a Crime by Trevor Noah (2016) – Funny, sad, and amazingly moving memoir about growing up a biracial child in South Africa during and just after Apartheid. Mr. Noah is insightful and honest as he dissects his life and his choices and the choices that were made for him. Each chapter begins with an overview of life in South Africa that relates to the subsequent story from his own life. (Named on the best books of the year by NPR, New York Times, Esquire, Booklist.) ~ Lisa Christie and Lisa Cadow Men We Reaped by Jessmyn Ward (2013) – This coming of age memoir shows what it is like to grow up smart, poor, black and female in America. Ms. Ward’s starting point is a two year period of time shortly after she graduated college during which five boys who she loved and grew up along the Mississippi Coast with experience violent deaths. (Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath also play a role in this drama.) Her prose illuminates these dead young men and the people who loved/still love them; it also exposes the people behind the statistics that almost one in 10 young black men are in jail and murder is the greatest killer of black men under the age of 24. And while the material is brutal, the memoir is not; it is insightful, introspective, beautifully written, and important. At some point Ms. Ward states that the series of deaths is “a brutal list, in its immediacy and its relentlessness, and it’s a list that silences people. It silenced me for a long time.” We are glad she found her voice and told her story. And, we hope to see it on a big screen near you soon. (On the October 2013 IndieNext list.) ~ Lisa Christie
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